tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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