I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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