well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
