Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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