phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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