You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
