I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were destined to go to rehab together
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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