my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
