Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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