i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve this hangover.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize