I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize