It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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