remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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