I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He passed out mid-signature
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
