this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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