So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
