Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize