im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
