Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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