Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize