Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
