I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
