I need help removing her.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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