you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
