and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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