she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
