Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I think your dad took our porno
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
