You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
