ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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