i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
