They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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