the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Are my feet made of real feet?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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