i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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