It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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