I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
