she kept yelling 'call me bella'
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
