so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
