I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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