All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He did a backflip because drugs
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
