Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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