evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
