I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
