I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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