Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
