I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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