party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
