At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
