so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize