Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
