I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
