I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
