Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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