.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
