:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
