I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
