im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
