are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Randomize
