You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
