I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
